Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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