why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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