What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
