if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
