omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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