How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
