Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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