captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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