Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
