she looked like the bat from fern gully.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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