ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
