Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize