If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
