i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
