Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
