Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize