The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
