I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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