she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
