i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My bed smells like the plague
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
