PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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