my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
