And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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