Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
