Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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