I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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