my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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