I cannot find my penis.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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