Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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