youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
