Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
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You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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