should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
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Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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