k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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