I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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