eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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