just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
operation have a gay friend backfired
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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