some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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