not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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