If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize