you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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