this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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