ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
