I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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