If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
