I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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