Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize