some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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