the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it glows. i had to have it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
