They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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