Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
