Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
