I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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