I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
