i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
