Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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