took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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