He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
